Haven't met you yet.

I'm not surprised

Not everything lasts

I've broken my heart

So many times, I stopped keeping track

Talked myself in, I talked myself out

I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it

I came up with a million excuses

I thought I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out

You'll make me work so we could work to work it out

And I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get

I just haven't met you yet.

Crossing.

So... now I'm officially a brother of Alpha Kappa Psi.

Looking back on everything.. it has honestly been one hell of a journey.

I'm just so glad that it's over -- pledging that is. I fell so far behind my classes that I'm in recovery mode right now.

Honestly, I'm really glad that I went through with this. I've always wanted to be part of a fraternity, and to finally experience it first hand and finishing it - being in a leadership position as well - opened my eyes so much. I've gained so much from everything, from polishing my leadership skills, professionalism skills, and teamwork abilities.

I've gained amazing friends throughout this semester and have done so much more this semester than the last two combined. I'm.. just extremely grateful for everything and for everyone.

There's not really much else to say other than telling all my other readers to consider joining a fraternity or an organization in school. College is different than high school, it's not about being popular or whatever... you have to GO OUT on your own and join an organization that will help you become more involved. And going to SJSU which is a mainly a commuter school, it just made me feel 100% better knowing I didn't just go to school and home.. I felt as if I belonged.

That's why I encourage people to consider joining an organization. It's not about getting new friends or any of that.. it's about developing yourself, getting to know yourself and your limits, and well.. I guess getting a "life".

I was so close to deployment that I dreaded the end of pledging, but after finding out that I'm no longer going, I can finally look forward to the future. I just hope I do well.

Thanks to everyone for putting up with me. Let's make these last few weeks count.

I'm disgusted at how my vocabulary is.

I need to stop saying, "that's gay". Because I can seriously hurt someones feelings.

I

Am

Disgusted

With

My

Self

Heart breaker.

I hate to admit it... but you've grown on me. I'm just gonna say it flat out. I really miss you.

So like... I'm VP of my pledging class.

Second in command again!

Since Jr. year I've been second in command. LOL

YES. All the work falls on me! S.O.B.!

Relationships

Janelle and I had a really good talk today - via Facebook chatting - about relationships.

She popped a question about why I wasn't in a relationship now.. and to be quite honest, I didn't know how to answer.

Am I refusing to be in a relationship?

Am I actively looking?

Single? Ready to mingle?

Or do I just don't give a crap?

I really don't know. But it just feels lonely. I'll be the first to admit that being single has it's highs and lows. And the lows surely do suck. When 80% of your friends are in relationships you begin to wonder what the hell is wrong with you.

Like the bridesmaid whose friends have all wed except her, I feel her pain and her inquiries.

I sure do have a sour spot for girls. I tend to be overcritical of them, and I tend to hold them in poor light. It's hard to come by brains and beauty is what I told Janelle... it really it. I want to have a down to earth gal who could care less about the things I do - though to a certain extent of course.

I've been watching a lot of Korean drama's lately, and one that struck me hard was a particular one where the hero didn't get the girl, his best friend was able to walk away with his "angel". And it seems as if I'm always dealt the poor hands. Like, recently, playing Poker online is total bullshit! I have been getting shitty ass hands, and I think it reflects my relationship with my friends.

I don't know what it is, but this summer feels as if I'm losing more than gaining, though I may be losing the fake friends and gaining real friendships. As many before me have said, "You find out who your real friends are through shared interests." That's definitely true. But does that leave out spontaneous relationships? Does that leave out the opposites attract law?

As I'm becoming more indulged with myself such as working out more often, pursuing military ideologies, and striving to become more bookwormish, I have lost many friends... and of course, potential girlfriends.

Talking to Janelle sort of opened my eyes. I'm extremely flirty... but I'm afraid of commitment... really? For once, my smart mouth didn't have a response. Because it's true. Why am I so afraid of commitment? Am I afraid of being hurt? Am I afraid of taking chances? One exercise that was recommended was that when I passed by a really cute looking girl, I should lock eyes and give a smile...

Though, that seems like an impossible task. Because the instant I spot a above-average looking girl, I immediately shy away (WOW! ME?!) and diverge my gaze elsewhere. This could reflect upon my views on relationships. I tend to shy away from commitment or even perhaps going beyond the whole 'dating' classification.

Truth be told, I don't want to date multiple girls to try to find the right one. I swear one day, this girl I'm talking about so much will pop out right under me... or perhaps I should stick to watching Wongfu videos. Hey? Who knows? I might star in my own exclusive role as the hero.

I consider myself a Nice Guy, with the emphasis on the 'ICE' part of Nice. Because man, I am DAMN COLD to girls. Haha... I'm going to make a pact with myself right now... come Fall semester, I'm going to try MY BEST to find someone. Whether she is miss perfect or not. I'm determined to put myself out there. I love meeting new people, and I love conversating with people.

To boil this down to a point.


Hello Ladies,

My name is Alan Duong, I am 19 years young, I love to...

Well, to be honest. I love you.


And in other words, darling, kiss me.

Breakfast at Tiffany's!

http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/ca/san-jose/772124867380026986




No, not really. This is my new passion. Maybe I should've done cross country and more running events in track. I'm averaging a good 5-6 minutes a mile now.