So Far

So... I just got another epiphany.

I need more diverse friends.

I am tired of having friends who bail out, shut out, forget, ditch, and so many other words I do not have the time to type.

I am tired of having friends who are all in relationships... because it sucks when I'm the only one who doesn't have a significant other, but everyone else does. Because they automatically qualify for "time well spent"

It never really occurred to me because I'm usually so damn busy to hang out on a regular basis... as if there were anything to do anyways. But I need to get new friends because I'm so damn tired of being disappointed by people.

This camping trip that I'm planning? I'm going to cut down the invitation because I know people will bail on me the last minute, and to be honest... I'm not surprised anymore.

Every time someone calls me or IMs me or texts me saying - along the lines of - "Sorry I can't go" I don't even flinch anymore. I'm so fucking used to everyone bailing out it's ridiculous. Either they're too lazy, or too exhausted, or just plain don't give a fuck about anything. Albeit, I may not notify you guys a week beforehand.. BUT WHEN I DO... it's a no-go.


Now friends with significant others, I don't blame you guys. Have all the fun you guys want, I have nothing against you guys except the fact that you guys are happy, and I'm not. Let this be known:

I
FUCKING
HATE
COUPLES
RIGHT
NOW

and in general, relationships, because it fucks me in the ass so many times i've become immune.

My family isn't doing shit, my sister has her boyfriend, my mom has work.. and my dad... is just being dad.

This is a pure rant, so I dont expect any backlash when I say I fucking hate my friends. Scratch that, I don't really have friends, I'm more of like the after-thought of "Oh hey, let's invite Alan" or "Are you going to Alan's thing? Nah"

Middle finger, and cheers. Friends? What friends? I mostly see people who seem as if they don't give a fuck.

Granted, this is 4th of July... some of you may not consider this big.. but I do. I've missed 4th of July 3 years straight, I've yet to spend quality time with friends because of the Army, or summer school.. and obviously 4th of July is a huge event in America, so you'd expect someone to come with a tentative plan.

Yet... when shit hits the fan, people go running away with their heads cut off. Plans broken, promises laughed at... it's disgusting what can happen. I'm so damn annoyed by the fact that most of the friends I considered friends, are not friends at all, in fact, I consider them acquaintences. It's fucking ridiculous!

I've missed so many chances to be with my friends, yet when I'm finally home and able to participate, it feels like a fucking joke!

I hate to bring this up as well, but the reason why I cherish American holidays so much is because of the fact that I'm in the military, and I HATE.. ABSOLUTELY HATE to pull this card out. But I like celebrating the fact that I will eventually play a part in this celebration, and to have my friends brush it off, or pass it as a insignificant notion of 'who gives a fuck', it's so fucking retarded.

I don't want to get drunk
I don't want to party and play beer pong

I want to celebrate things as they were meant to be celebrated! I hate being invited to parties where all of my friends drink... because I don't drink.

I can't believe I'm going to celebrate my first 4th of July home in 3 years... at home. literally. But you know what? I feel so damn optimistic, I'd rather go somewhere alone than hang out with "friends" as if they were able-body to attend anyways.

To boil this down to a point. Fuck friends. Because honestly, I feel as if in this day and age, finding real friends is trying to find gold in your kitchen sink. It's impossible.

Perhaps I have this all wrong, and maybe I am the problem? Maybe no one wants to hang out with me because of my attitude? Well, if that's the case, I fully accept that, and will gladly move on to other opportunities to meet new friends. Although, I'm pretty sure my new friends, if I were to ever find any... would fuck me in the ass as well.

So I currently have a HUGE animosity against people who consider themselves my friend, because it's bullshit. Though, you may say to yourself that I'm not worth having as a friend, that's fine, but fuck you.

Asshole. Happy 4th of July everyone! Please be safe today.